humor:) hehe hahah hihih [brez komentarjev!]

[~NIA~]

Mož je pravkar končal branje nove knjige z naslovom "Lahko ste gospodar v svoji hiši".
Oddrvel je v kuhinjo in stopil naravnost proti ženi.
Uprl je prst v njen obraz in ostro dejal: "Vedi, da sem od zdaj naprej jaz gospodar v tej hiši in moja beseda je zakon! Zvečer mi boš pripravila gurmansko večerjo in ko bom pojedel, mi boš servirala sijajno sladico. Po večerji bova šla v spalnico in se ljubila tako, kot jaz hočem. Potem mi boš pripravila kopel, da se bom lahko sprostil. Umila mi boš hrbet,
me obrisala, prinesla pižamo in mi zmasirala stopala in roke. Ugani, kdo me bo oblekel in počesal, ko bo to opravljeno?"

Žena odgovori: "Jaz bi rekla, da upravnik pogrebnega zavoda!"

[kravzlbavc]

še posebej za fane matta pa bena:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLG3S5WzHig

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIQrBouW ... re=related

[the big red machine]

Haha tipo car!
http://media.putfile.com/Sit-down-comedy---Niko-Zagode



Kolko nas je že počelo take fore (če se samo spomnem enih filmčkov), še dobro da ne pridemo vsi na net (ok ta je itak želel pridet na net)

[AbbA]

Prosim vas, da ne pošiljate samo linkov do nečesa ampak tudi na kratko opišete, da vemo, ali naj kliknemo na to ali ne

[Black Kitty]

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a good sense of humour.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
________________________________________________

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Harvey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
________________________________________________

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not .... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
________________________________________________

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
________________________________________________

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
________________________________________________

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
________________________________________________

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
________________________________________________

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
________________________________________________

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
________________________________________________

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
________________________________________________

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[Snow flake]

Prava smer

Pustni kostum

[Mju]

vnuk vpraša babico: "Babica se lahko igram s tvojimi joški?"
babica odgovori: "ja sam ne prek ceste!"

[Nelaa]

Zupnik sprasuje Micko:
Mici, zakaj pa ste mozu sredi mase primazali zausnico?
Gospod zupnik, lepo se vam opravicujem, ampak dovolj mi je bilo, da me je pogledal vsakokrat, ko ste rekli: In resi nas vsega hudega!

[Nelaa]

RIBARNICA

Dve prostitutki gresta mimo ribarnice in ena pravi:
Uj kako tukaj po sexi disi.
Druga ji odgovori:
Ah, to se je meni samo kupcek podrl.

[Nelaa]

MOSKI 4

Zakaj so moski kot mikrovalovna pecica?
Ker se segrejejo v 15 sekundah.

MOSKI 5

Zakaj moski ne more biti lep in hkrati inteligenten?
Ker bi bil zenska.

MOSKI 6

Zakaj so baterije boljse od moskih?
Ker imajo najmanj eno pozitivno stran.

[Nelaa]

MOSKI 1

Zakaj so moski kot jastogi?
Vse je dobro razen glave.

MOSKI 2

Zakaj so moski kot delfini?
Ker pravijo, da so inteligentni, vendar nihce tega ni dokazal.

MOSKI 3

Zakaj so moski kot polzi?
Imajo rogove, se slinijo in se vlecejo in povrhu vsega se mislijo, da je hisa njohova.

[Sugar_baby]

Najkrajša pravljica, ki ste jo kdaj slišali:

Nekoč je živela deklica, ki je svojega fanta vprašala, če bi se poročil z njo.

Fant ji je odgovoril 'NE!'

Od tega dne je deklica srecno zivela do konca svojih dni, brez da bi komu prala, kuhala, likala, pohajala je s prijateljicami, sexala s komer je želela, delala in porabljala svoj denar za kar je hotela.



*KONEC*

Problem je, da nam (puncam), ko smo bile majhne, te pravljice niso pripovedovali. Ampak so nas dobro zajebali s tistim idiotom od princa na belem konju!

[Ashlee.]

^^^ tole pravlico sm pa js tud dobila na mejl

> Bik in lev sedita za šankom in pijeta. Levu zazvoni mobitel.
Javi se in pravi:
>Ja draga seveda, takoj pridem.<

Hitro spije do konca in vstane.
Bik pravi :
>In ti si mi lev. Če bi mene klicala moja ,
bi jo nekam poslal in dalje pil<.

Lev:

>Ja, ampak med nama je bistvena razlika.
Moja žena je levinja, tvoja pa krava.

[~NIA~]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ib4i9s3Wdew

ok sej je žalostno sam paše pa glih sm..

[Miss N.]

Mene zanima kdaj se neha nositi bunde?

Bunde se neha nosit 22marca, 24ga lahko šele prešaltaš na kakšne tanke jaknice, plaščke itd(vmes nesmeš hodit ven sploh), 10junija nesmeš nositi več dolgih rokavov, obvezni so kratki rokavi, 1julija pa je dovoljena samo nošnja majčk z naramnicami. Kazen za prekršek je šamar.

iz teme Nujno potrebujem