Moški bolj cenijo razmerja?

[Alwaleed]

Tole bo šlo na mlin nekaterim (ryu10kyu, Mahagonij?) ki so v preteklosti izražali zagrenjenost glede ženske zvestobe in nagnjenosti k temu, da naj bi do konca pocuzale enega in nato tekle k drugim

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WHAT'S a marriage worth? To an Aussie male, about $32,000. That's the lump sum Professor Paul Frijters says the man would need to receive out of the blue to make him as happy as his marriage will over his lifetime. An Aussie woman would need much less, about $16,000.

But when it comes to divorce, the Aussie male will be so devastated it would be as if he had lost $110,000. An Aussie woman would be less traumatised, feeling as if she had lost only $9000.

Recently named this year's Best Australian Economist under 40 by the Economic Society of Australia, the Queensland University of Technology professor knows this because he has been mining a unique set of data that has tracked the happiness and major life events of about 10,000 Australians once a year since 2001.

''These are real people to whom unexpected things happen. They weren't selected because these things would happen, and we can compare their happiness before and after,'' Professor Frijters told the Herald after presenting his findings at the Australian National University.

Asked to describe how satisfied they are with their lives on a scale of 0 to 10, the Australians surveyed most often use the number eight, but the answers change after (and sometimes in anticipation of) major life events and also after sudden changes in income.

That has enabled the professor to put dollar values on the effects on happiness of major events such as marriage, divorce and birth, or as he puts it to calculate their ''psychic costs'' or ''psychic benefits''.

The birth of a child turns out to bring both. It makes parents the happiest before it happens and then after some months slightly less happy than they would have been without the birth, which is why Professor Frijters puts low dollar values on the lifetime boost to happiness that flows from a birth - for the mother around $8700, for the father $32,600.

''Losing a loved one has a much bigger effect than gaining a loved one. There's a real asymetry between life and death,'' he says. ''This shouldn't surprise us. Human beings seem primed to notice losses more than gains.''

The death of a spouse or child causes a woman $130,900 worth of grief, according to Frijters's calculations. It costs a man $627,300.

''This isn't the value of the life that's lost. That would be much higher,'' he says. ''This is just the effect on the happiness of one person flowing from a death.''

Asked why his calculations show men much more affected by life's events than women, Professor Frijters says he doesn't know. ''But it does tend to give me confidence in the calculations. We know, for instance, that marriage improves the lives of men much more than women.''

Some of the results fit in with stereotypes. Women get a psychic boost of $2600 from moving house. Men suffer psychic pain of $16,000.

Professor Frijters's dollar figures are lower than those arrived at by other methods. He says that is because he finds that money has a greater effect on happiness than previously thought.

''Losing or gaining money can offset the effect of other life events quite well, and that is what we are formally looking at - the amount needed to offset an event or keep someone happiness-neutral,'' he says.

Insurance companies and lawyers take a keen interest in the research, he says, because of the need for dollar compensation.

[purple_rain]

Izvleček tega članka je bil pred kratkim tud na 24ur objavljenj.. sem pa o tem tud jz že prej razmišljala; večkrat sem ugotavljala, da (nekateri) moške težje prenašajo konec zveze kot ženske; ali drugače, ženske jo doživljamo bolj intenzivno, moški manj, vendar slednji dlje časa prebolevajo (čeprav ne pokažejo vedno oz. zelo redko(?)) - ženskam se nam pa samo zdi, da nikoli ne bomo prebolele .

[Alwaleed]

Če je fenomen, ki ga opisuje Frijters, resničen, bi ena od razlag lahko bila, da je ženski pristop k prebolevanju (pogovarjanje, izražanje čustev) učinkovitejši kot moški način (prebolevanje na samem in v tišini). Mogoče do 6x učinkovitejši?

[Horus]

Uživajte še naprej Lep pozdrav od Horusa

[purple_rain]

^^:P
Se bolj strinjam z Alwaleedom, da je naš (ženski) način pač učinkovitejši; ni nujno da je "razsežnost" toliko bolj plitka..

[Horus]

Uživajte še naprej Lep pozdrav od Horusa

[jullia_]

Jaz se pa moram s Horusom nekako strinjat.
Sicer nimam nobenih ekonomskih analiz, s katerimi bi podprla svoje trditve, ampak opažam pa, da stereotip o nezrelih moških nekako pade na celi črti, ko se dva spustita v resno zvezo, ker so njihova čustva precej bolj stabilna in v številnih primerih tudi intenzivnejša.

[positive vibration]

Še ena, ki se žal strinja, da moški v zvezi goji globlja in močnejša čustva...
Saj to se kaže že v vsakdanjih pogovorih. Problemi rutine pri sexu, upada strasti, "nisma več zaljubljena", se večinoma kažejo na ženski strani.

Je pa res, da sem jaz dokaj trdosrčen in brezčustven človek, tako da...svojo zvezo še nekako razumem

[IloveCoffee]

Če gledam sebe pa frende, ki smo bli v resnih vezah (več let), smo po koncu rabli še kr neki cajta, da smo se pobrali in bli prpravleni spet za kej več (tut če smo bli mi povod, da se konča), medtem ko je bla večina punc že po mesecu, dveh z novim tipom. I guess, da si to lahko razlagaš na različne načine, en je sigurno ta, da se moški težje zaljubimo in gremo v resno vezo, pa nam je potem tut težje ko se konča, prebolevamo pa večinoma sami s sabo in samodestruktivnimi dejanji

[nivea9]

O joj kako dolg članek.

[kepka]

V nekaterih primerih se zdi ta delitev na "zenska in moska custva" cist neumesna. In ta je eden izmed teh. To je seveda le moje skromno mnenje, ampak prebolevanje in odzivi na taksna in drugacna zivljenska dozivetja so po mojem mnenju odvisna od posameznika, ne glede na spol.

Clanek pa - ze sama primerjava custveno trpljenje in denar se mi zdi popolnoma zgresena.

[Ajča]

Se strinjam, da tipi rabite dalj časa, da prebolite (saj kakor sem opazila pri frendih, mojih in njegovih)
Je pa res, da obe resni zvezi, ki sem ju imela (ena še traja), sta se začeli še ne en teden po prekinitvi prejšne resne zveze (js samska, tip par dni) - je pa v obeh zvezah že dalj časa škripal in sta bili na pavzi vmes, tako da se je verjetno že med pavzo prebolevalo razmerje..

[*Nea*]

Če gledam sebe pa frende, ki smo bli v resnih vezah (več let), smo po koncu rabli še kr neki cajta, da smo se pobrali in bli prpravleni spet za kej več (tut če smo bli mi povod, da se konča), medtem ko je bla večina punc že po mesecu, dveh z novim tipom. I guess, da si to lahko razlagaš na različne načine, en je sigurno ta, da se moški težje zaljubimo in gremo v resno vezo, pa nam je potem tut težje ko se konča, prebolevamo pa večinoma sami s sabo in samodestruktivnimi dejanji

Ja ampak te punce še verjetno bivših niso prebolele, ampak so se hotele bivšim le malce "pokazat", češ, sej lahko dobim drugega.
In js bi malce premislila o nekomu, ki gre po tednu, dveh v novo zvezo, ta absolutno nima razčiščenih določenih pojmov in čustev, ali pa ta čustva razčiščuje z novim partnerjem, kar pa se meni zdi, malce mimo.

[Ajča]

Ali pa v zvezi že osebo preboli .
Če nisi nikoli bila v takšni situaciji in če nikogar takšnega dobro ne poznaš, potem težko sodiš o tem, se ti ne zdi?
Sta bili pa dve različni izkušnji, kljub temu, da so bili pogoji enaki - manj kot tri dni v obeh primerih, če sem natančna (- če že mečemo v en koš )

[*Nea*]

Med zvezo nekoga preboliš? Svaka ti čast. Mela sem že, da ne rečem nevem kakšno zvezo, ampak nekaj od tega ostane tudi po koncu. Edino v zvezi brez čustev (v tem primeru nevem kaj človek počne), je možno kaj takega.
In navsezadnje js nisem ničesar sodila, ampak samo povedla svoje mnenje, se ti ne zdi?!